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All 21 game Reviews


Spiner game Spiner game

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Learn to put enough effort into your game to at least spell the title correctly, and I'll learn to vote more than zero.


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you better get too school you better get too school

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Nice.

I like how when I cross the street I still get an F.

Oh yeah and the game is coded horribly, therefore failing in what it is out to achieve.


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Asteroids original game Asteroids original game

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Crap.

I don't usually go ahead and call a submission crap, but I feel this really deserves it.

I ran a search in the NG search bar for "asteroids" and was barely surprised to find that there were 276 submissions that related to asteroids. Granted some of them had nothing to do with this game, MOST of them were carbon copies of this game.

So I would say that this game has been submitted at least 200 times.

Yeah, thats bullshit. I'm already pissed off about all the cookie cutter games the portal has been crapping out since 2009 and now I have to see "people" (if they're even human and not automated bots) create accounts, and then submit a shitty carbon copy of a popular game within minutes of joining the site. Truly I'm surprised your crappy rip-off doesn't have an obnoxious ad in the beginning, considering the general population of cookie cutters tend to have those in their games so they can squandle for ad money. So maybe this is a different situation entirely, maybe I'm just going crazy over nothing.

Should I even review this? Its asteroids, thats it. The same damn game thats been flooding the portal 200 times. You could literally steal someone elses variation of it, change a single sprite or font, and submit it without consequences.
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TL;DR;Too Fucking Lazy: If you're coming to this site to submit crappy generic games, then welcome to the ocean of shit.

Also: Just set your author credit as Author if you wan't everybody to know that you made everything.


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Beeh0 responds:

Kind of hurt, but I suppose it's true. I hadn't seen the majority of copies on this site, and I will try to not make any games that are a giant copy of another.


Dadgame Dadgame

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Well bust my balls.

I'm going to give this a 10 just for existing, thank you sir.


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Delaware Racing Delaware Racing

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Dissapointing.

This definitley wasn't up to your potential. I saw the "crappy game lolol" thing coming but I expected a bit too much and ended up feeling dissapointed instead of laughing. The achievements screen was funny but the actual game is just crap. And it seems you didn't leave a gigantic paragraph for me to read in your description. I don't know, I just hope things get better in the future.


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DELETETHIS responds:

I'm sorry you feel that way. I will try harder next time.


Delaware Adventure Delaware Adventure

Rated 5 / 5 stars

I like this.

Yeah the gameplay sucks but thats not what I like about it. Its the feel it gives me when the intro started up. The music and those black "load screens" reminded me of an old N64 or PS1 game. Everything except the actual game has a nostalgic feeling to it that makes me like it. And it was funny when I died and his face just keeps zooming on the screen. Good stuff.


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Feed the Fat Cat Feed the Fat Cat

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Doesn't Work?

It was sort of laggy and never loaded after about 5 minutes. Seems cool though.



~!~K0RKZ!** Hentai! ~!~K0RKZ!** Hentai!

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Wow.

A blinking face!



Power Ball.... Power Ball....

Rated 1.5 / 5 stars

No walls.

There aren't any walls! The difficulty itself is hard and I can't really say much about that. However if you're going to make a game with levels it's important to have increasing difficulty starting with something easy and ending with something hard. And the paddle dragging is sort of okay, maybe add an option in the beginning if you want to use the arrow keys or the mouse? And last, the graphics are way too bland and generic, along with the sounds. Overall it was okay but much too hard especially for the first level.


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cagedlion responds:

Regarding walls comments are given at the first review. I am planning to make levels with decreasing size of the target. I found that mouse movement is faster than arrow keys. Many viewers find bg sound annoying and shut it off, that is why I have not included it.


Last Missile Last Missile

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Difficulty.

The difficulty on this game is too hard, plain and simple. The first level has too many rings and too small openings. I'm not saying this is bad, but it shouldn't be done in the first level. Also the hit detection is off, if you get too close to the opening you get hit even when your visibly not touching it, this also allows you to occasionly destroy the satellite if you move your mouse quick enough through the bars. Not very fun and somewhat annoying.